I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
