Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
