Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
