i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
