...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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