I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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