Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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