dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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