I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
