small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
