I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
