I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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