He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
