I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
