just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
this will be a night to untag.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
