the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
