just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
