I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
