Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
