Life is so much better after having sex.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
