He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
