We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry my hands just texted you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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