My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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