when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
