So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
