I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
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