she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
