Small penises have feelings too.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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