i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
