It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
