OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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