Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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