She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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