office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
