Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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