the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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