It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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