Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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