I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
