he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
