drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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