She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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