I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still dying that you shit outside
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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