FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
