You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
