For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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