So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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