but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
