Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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