can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
